authentic.

originally published June 5, 2017

you all wouldn't believe that I have more than thirty drafts in my queue and I left this blog sitting here, like I have nothing to say.  

the truth is, I never quit telling my story, I just quit writing it - well on the blog anyway.  I much prefer sharing the weight loss journey through pictures on instagram, but that really only scratches the surface of my life.  although I haven't posted here in 8 months, I think about it all the time.  the issue is, when I started this blog, I am not sure that I was in a space where I could share the entire story of what got me to a little over 300lbs in the first place.  

here's the thing - I have never thought that my story was special, unique or one of a kind.  there are many folks that grew up with my same circumstances or probably worse. my upbringing wasn't that bad.  however, I genuinely believe that I was being as honest as I could be.  I mean I wasn't lying, I just don't think that I was ready to share all that I am SUPPOSED to share with the world.  

I don't know if I had kept going, if I would have told the whole story.  I have learned a lot about myself in that short period of time, and I realize that this thing is so much bigger than losing the fat.  I have literally had to let go of dead weight that I didn't even realize I was carrying; some of which I am still carrying.  I have always been self-aware; but more recently, I have been confronting things that I didn't think were issues for me anymore and things that I have allowed to lie dormant and suppressed for years.  by the grace of God I am healed from those scars more each day. 

I pray that I can remain consistent enough to share the challenges and wins big or small, so that they can help someone.  

I pray you have been well.

God bless you all.

in faith, love and optimal health